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Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home

Today i'm feeling homesick. this is something i have rarely felt throughout my life since like age 5. i always loved sleepovers and going on trips and away to camps. i loved to get out of the house and be somewhere else. i was just never a homesick kid. even in the past 4 years of college i've really only been homesick once. now at 22, i'm feeling homesick just barely a month into the semester. at first i was embarrassed and felt lame. but you know, i just miss my house where i have all of the food i like, dish TV, my fave recliner, my bed, my bathroom. all of the things that make it feel like home. i want to go shop with mom and get sushi with my parents down the road at Massaki. fix myself lunch in the afternoon while mom reads and dad watches golf...catch a movie later on with amy, jen, susie, and mom. brunch at the country club. night chat at starbucks. watch episodes of queer eye with mom with our green tea and dark chocolate. i even kind of want to mow the lawn (my favorite chore). naturally there's also some clothes and such that i'd like to collect and bring back, things i forgot before. i just need a time out and a couple of days back in my hood.

so hopefully i get to skip back home for the weekend and come back refreshed and primed for next week ready to bring my A game once again.

and now for some random/fragmented thoughts.

i'm coming up on the end of my period and i'm having a fat day. boo.

i pulled muscle after not treating a shin splint. boo

i treated myself to the pumpkin spice latte yesterday at starbucks. yay

i watched every episode of season 2 of 30 Rock and loved it. again. yay

i did laundry and nobody jacked any of my stuff or took my clothes out or moved them. yay

my stat homework for chapter 3 was RIDICULOUS. boo.

had a FABULOUS dinner/gelato date with rachel which was super fun and totally relaxing. yay

diablo cody's twitter has been especially hilarious this week. yay

i saw the most adorable chubby wubby bulldog the other day. YAY

the weather is finally starting to feel like fall. DOUBLE YAY.

one of my best girls, linds, had a quarterlife revelation and has since decided to change somethings up to live the life that will actually fulfill her and make her happy. there is already a noticeable difference in her everyday. YAY.

HOCKEY SEASON STARTS THIS WEEK. blackhawks kick off later this week :) yay

annnnnnnnd scene. more meaningful post later.

love

don't worry this will totally make up for me not posting yesterday...

okay so first order of business.... yesterday there was a tag on twitter of 1999 icebreakers. my contribution was "my yak bak is the same color as your tamagatchi". from there i went on the read the entire wikipedia entry on Power Rangers. and it was incredible. so this look down memory lane has inspired me to dig deeper and highlight some of my favorite toys and shows i grew up with (i also had the childhood tv convo with scott at like 1am in starbucks this past weekend).

yak bak - obviously one of the best (and ridiculously simple) toys ever made. small enough to take anywhere as in ANYWHERE. even church. where i specifically remember being with jill d in the back row of the balcony recording and playing back the word naked. until we chickened out and fled to the bathroom. also see TalkBoy (thanks home alone/m.culkin)

p.s there's apparently a yak bak watch called "yak time" if this is true, then the man who gives me this treasure will have my heart forever.

tamagatchi's. i did have one after my cousins showed theirs off one thanksgiving. but i was only briefly amused with mine. my brother, however, once had like 3 of them at once and was a full time parent to all of them. i can't remember how they were removed from his life but i'm confident that it was an ugly scene. also see nano pets/giga pets: b-list tamagatchis

nerf ANYTHING but particularly, the crossbow. this toy was pure money. you could shoot your brains out and nobody ever got hurt which means it was totally mom approved. it was light and endlessly entertaining. on several occasions my bro and i had to get replacement arrows because the originals were so beaten up from the kajillion hours of play. nerf guns are simply too legit to quit.

skip it. anyone? anyone? this was actually a cardio workout in disguise (another reason to bring it back...fight child obesity) basically a plastic ring you put around your ankle with a plastic lease and a little skip-odometer ball on the end. by skipping and whirling it around and around you simply tried to rack up as many skips as possible. it was a little loud clickitty clacking on the pavement so i'll to meditate on whether or not i'd ever let my future children play with that. mommy might lose it.

gak. it was actually marketed/manufactured by nickelodeon i think (as was floam, it's dumber, messier companion). gak was basically a slippier slimier silly putty that came in "scents" (mine was buttered poppcorn that smelled like a mix of vomit and dog crap" and you could play with it as putty or put it inside it's crazy container and shove your fingers in it to make fart sounds. your choice.

Shows..

Power Rangers- the original (mighty morphin). corny as hell but so cool. my bro and i had power rangers everything and we'd play PR with blake for hours in the backyard. every year mom would order us new winter coats (the classic collar parka from land's end) and we'd always choose the color of our ranger (i was pink.)

Sesame Street. the boss of all children's television programming. educational and endlessly entertaining. love it love it love it.

Barney. the early years. it was fun. cheesy of course, but also fun.

Eureka's castle. weird but fun and a little magical.

GUMMI BEARS. scott and i agree that this show was aces. get that gummi juice.

okay my laptop is running low on battery so until i can hook it back up i'll have to end this. more soon. grey's premiere tonight. YIKES. expect a blog storm.

cup o' cheer

today has been exceptionally stressful/rough despite a lack of things going wrong or bringing on stress. sometimes i feel like you just get "the stress bug". where it just takes one thing to irritate or frustrate you and the stress from that one incident, big or small, isolated or on going, just shadows you the entire day. it's a bugger for sure and can easily cause an otherwise okie doke day to go down the poop shoot.

for example, today... woke up after a solid night's rest, got my coffee brewing, checked my email(and twitter, facebook, blogs etc..), changed into jeans and a t-shirt... the usual routine and start of a potentially great day. then i popped some french bread pizza into the microwave and turned on What Not to Wear. when i finished eating i turned down the volume and brought my laptop out to the living room to work on some Stat work (all of which is done on the computer/online). one of the links/sites i need refused to load. and i repeatedly got the screen message that "oops! this link must be broken!" ..what? broken my ass. i checked the web address and refreshed it and then opened another window to do it again there as a back up. still nothing. i tried about 15 different ways to get this darn site to no avail. i wanted to pick up my laptop and shake it like an etch-a-sketch but luckily i was able to regain control and resist the urge. "this link may not exist anymore or may have moved to another location." wtf dude? they didn't leave a change of address card or treasure map? no clue or riddles? how the frack am i supposed to know if/where they moved? since when is an interactive educational software site nomadic? whatever. needless to say, this agitated me to no end and the stress/irritation from this has been derailing my day. good and bad events can each polarize the way i see the rest of the days events. a bad event(s) can rob me of compassion and mercy for the remainder of the day. it magnifies trivial things instead of being able to brush things off (case and point...i nearly had a fit when the elevator wasn't moving fast enough. wtf elevator? you know i have places to go jackass!..) Pessimism becomes my overall attitude/prospective for the day highlighting the negative. The inverse being true of good events (feeling happy, being extra forgiving/friendly, not worrying as much, enjoying things, not letting the little things get you down. seeing the good blah blah).

ANYWAYS. when this happens i've been making a point to actively work to reverse this effect. by indulging in all the things that cheer me up (not to be confused with things that enable self-pity or wallowing). So here are the things that i've assembled to combat this bummer attitude and redeem this ruby tuesday...

Father of the Bride - fab movie, fab soundtrack. ALWAYS leaves me happy

Christmas music - the ultimate mood boost. so cheery and gleeful. the holidays are my favorite and these tunes just can't be beat.

Youtube proposals - i realize i may get mocked for this but as many already know, i love to watch marriage proposals on Youtube. there are tons of them and they are so GREAT. i just love them.

Bloopers/Gag Reels- i could probably spend the entire day from when i wake up to when i go to bed watching bloopers and gag reels from various tv shows and movies. i just love it because it's people having a good time and lots of laughs. what i think is so cathartic about it is that it just shows people not taking themselves too seriously. messing up and being able to laugh about it. great way to be.

Hugs - i'm not an overly affectionate human being who is touchy huggy all the time BUT hugs are great and if you don't like hugs i think you're crazy. i'm not so much talking about the hugs you get when you say hello or goodbye or pass the peace at church. i'm talking about just getting or giving a hug because you just gotta have a hug. because you just love someone so much you just have to squeeze them. because you're so happy words can't describe and a hug is the perfect physical manifestation of your happiness or excitement. when hugs come instinctively that's when they're the best. when someone just hugs you because you're looking a little tired or beaten down. or you just get hugged out of nowhere. not expecting or consciously doing anything that would necessarily call for a hug. i will never get tired of hugs. never ever. hugs are the best thing ever.

that being said. i think i'm going to switch my ipod playlist to christmas music and go hug some people on the way back to my apartment to watch some proposals.

love

you really got a hold on me...

today after my coffee and ironing my clothes, i pulled up the fall premiere schedule (tv). i shamelessly love TV. there are bookoos (<-that's an appropriate spelling. i looked it up.) of horrible shows that should never see 1 minute of air time. but there are also plenty of FABULOUS SHOWS on. My favorites: Comedy: 30 Rock, the Office, Glee, Frasier, and Will & Grace (the latter two in syndication), Late night: Letterman and Chelsea Lately, Reality: Amazing Race, SYTYCD, and Project Runway, Drama: Bones, House, Desperate Housewives, and yes... Grey's Anatomy.

i was in the closet as a grey's lover for about 3 years. then i finally came clean. it's like ER (to be missed dearly this season) but instead of having a 70/30 split of medical/character focus, grey's is 30/70 with the emphasis on the situations and relationships between the characters. Grey's is sometimes predictable and occasionally cliche but blended with outrageous-yet-believable plot twists, shocking trauma cases, and tender (and often quotable) moments ("pick me, choose me, love me"), it's entertaining as all get out and i can't get enough of it. Because of it's mass appeal and wild success, Grey's doesn't always get the props it deserves and is often considered low brow. The characters are well developed...no doubt. fans can easily say " izzie is going to flip when she finds out..." or "bailey is not going to take that shit". yet even though we know these characters so well, there is always still room for growth and surprise (allowing for some of the more outrageous plot twists to be feasible.)

today i re-watched the season finale from grey's last season. i remember watching it for the first time the day after i came home for the summer last semester. i was folding laundry in my room in the house alone around lunch time. i remember literally gasping, scream-whispering "what the f", and rocking back and forth in my chair in an effort to make sense of the curve balls. it was BONKERS. so much craziness. and i was buying everything they were selling. just eating it up. it was my favorite episode yet because it was so shocking and...well so dramatic. and THEN katie, my lovely roomie/lax love, shows me a "first look" trailer for the season premiere that's airing this thursday...MORE CRAZINESS! i nearly fell off my bed! but this drama-laden pandemonium is exactly why i watch. i don't ever want a crap storm like that in real life. but experiencing it vicariously through a reality-simulator like grey's is the perfect way to enjoy the freight train of adrenaline without any actual stress or repercussions. it's like having your cake and eating it too. it thrills your pants off with no threat of real life consequences, making it nothing short of intoxicating. this sensation proves that you can love dramatic television and while loathing/trying to avoid drama in real life.

i'm a big kid now: making the transition from the happy meal to the arch deluxe...

Sundays and Thursdays are my laundry days. it's a brilliant schedule because thursday cleans your clothes from the week so everything is at your disposal for the weekend and then sunday cleans everything from the extended weekend to be ready to go for the new week. so as i was folding my clothes after dinner i reviewed at my sorted wardrobe. If east coast suburban WASPs had an outfit... my closet would perhaps be it. cardigans, v neck sweaters, oxford and polo shirts, khakis and chinos, and yes, even sweater vests. but i also have t-shirts and jeans and hoodies...although i'm not sure if that qualifies as "mixing it up". i actually didn't realize that my wardrobe was so fraiser & niles crane until one of my dear friends, lindsey, noted the other week in a totally casual benign way that i was the "preppiest person she knows". and then at dinner with the ladies i was the go-to source for catalog shopping at lands end and l.l.bean and explaining the term "snappy casual" (a term i learned at PC which the perfect way to describe "dressier than casual but more casual than dressy") i'll tell you why i like these kinds of clothes so much....they're functional. i typically like relatively plain, clean cut, tailored clothes. because they're easy, sharp, and you can make 1000 different outfits with them because the pieces are interchangeable. everything has a purpose- each pocket, each button, each loop. it's just a classic look that's pretty low maintenance. i feel comfortable in those clothes. clothes are like your second skin. they shape your image, positive or negative.Alec Baldwin's character on 30 Rock, Jack Donaghy, said that "your hair is you head suit". so that "it's what's on the inside that counts" and "don't judge a book by its cover" is 50% BS. it does matter. presentation matters as an adult. wearing a suit, combing your hair, and shaving says "i'm ready to do business". wearing a sports uniform says "i've got my game face". wearing a t-shirt and jeans with a baseball cap says "i'm hanging out". unshaven with greasy hair and disheveled pj/lounge wear says "i'm a jackass that clearly can't even take care of myself, let alone another person or important task." some people see prep clothes as a semi-deliberate signal of entitlement even though those wearing them may just enjoy the same practical qualities that i highlighted earlier. they may just be comfortable. the trick is finding a wardrobe where comfort and image can coexist. that being said, i spend a good amount of time in athletic clothing and i feel comfortable in that too just like when i'm hanging around in jeans and a t-shirt. but i'm also realizing that it may age me a bit. i do get people frequently that say i look 18 or younger (i'm 22) and i think a big part of that is my height (5'3"). but my "preppy" wardrobe may be pulling me to far in the other direction making me look like a suburban housewife/soccer mom. this sounds like a trivial dialogue to have with oneself but it's actually just a smaller conversation that's part of a bigger discussion going on in my head. that discussion is about me becoming an adult and finding the borders between adolescence and adulthood to be less finite than i had originally thought.

this is my 5th year of college (known as the Super Senior) but i'm academically considered a junior (even though i have more actual credits than the average graduate. after a broken neck, transfer of schools and change of major, i'm 2 yrs away from graduating with a B.S in Tourism and Events Management (2011). so i'm basically enjoying a couple "bonus" rounds of collegiate life. I think many would agree... if you're going to be doing extra time anywhere in your life... college is the place to do it. I love college. it enriches me differently every semester. never has my own personal growth been so rapid. it's fascinating and exciting but it's also overwhelming and i find myself often sitting or walking totally engrossed in my own thoughts just trying to sort through buckets of ideas, questions, opinions, and emotions that are constantly evolving. my mind is never idle. the quandary of young adulthood has become so exhausting that one of the only ways i find any solace from the stress is watching comedy on TV.

one thing that has become clear already in this semester is that i feel more inclined to be more of an adult in daily life. i'm the main housekeeper in our apt. i lysol the apartment, clean the counters and stove tops, vacuum, clean the bathroom, replenish hand and dish soap, wash the towels and wipe the tables. my mother and father would sob with pride if they saw the snow white and seven dwarfs number i'm pulling on this place. i keep a schedule in my planner. penciling in things like tests, papers, soccer practice, campus events, dinner dates, etc... i drink coffee in the morning to wake me up in an effort to become more of a morning person and i drink tea at night to soothe myself and wind me down for bed. i try to read the latest edition of the paper that's in starbucks each morning while i have my coffee before class (although usually i opt for the Onion which is fake news.... whatever. suck it, i'm a young adult. cut me some slack.) i try to exercise will power when i shop for food and say no to Edy's Butterfinger Max ice cream and yes to ...almonds....

socially i see myself changing as well in terms of preference to where i like to hang out and who i like to do it with. i'm not into the classic frat party. predatory d-bags looking for pretty underclassmen who are tipsy and willing. two games of beer pong and a disgruntled pledge in charge of hunch punch distribution. top 40 mix that's 70% R&B/rap 30%Pop. no TP in the bathrooms. no thanks. and i'd rather punch myself in the face than pay a $10 cover charge to go to a club with a disco ball, blacklights, and outrageously priced rail drinks just to dance with dirtbags soaked in dakkar noir thinking they're in like flynn when it comes to hooking up. the music is essentially a playlist of house remixes of pop songs blasting at a volume that would drive even marlee matlin up the wall. i don't think so.

Things/scenes i am into? poker night, bowling(tipsy or sober), going to a sports pub with friends, putt putt, dinner dates, big band/jazz spot, walking around DC day or night (especially georgetown, chinatown or the national mall), concerts, karaoke bars, and sporting events.

young adulthood is a gift. it's the perfect opportunity to have a period of completely organic reflection, discovery, growth, and definition.

sleep of course is a necessary part of this process so i'll shut it down for the night.

love

Soccer Schedule

for those in the DC/NoVa area who might want to catch a game sometime and watch our wildly talented ladies club soccer team play here at GMU or away against our various opponents, here's the schedule for the season. 4 away and 9 home.

Sunday September 27th: AWAY at Towson University
11:00am GMU vs Towson
GMU vs. Loyola

Sunday October 4th: HOME
10:00 GMU vs Johns Hopkins University

Saturday October 17th: HOME
GMU vs. Longwood
GMU vs. Salisbury

Saturday October 24th: AWAY at University of Mary Washington
11:00 GMU vs. UMW
1:00 GMU vs. ODU

Saturday November 7th: HOME
10:00 GMU vs. Virginia Tech
2:30 GMU vs. Messiah

Saturday November 14th: HOME
10:00 GMU vs. CNU
2:30 GMU vs WVU

Saturday November 21: HOME
10:00 GMU vs. Radford
2:30 GMU vs. University of Delaware

Easy Like Sunday Morning...

i'm not going to use caps because i'm lazy and can type/think faster if i skip 'em.

i saw (500) days of summer yesterday with my friend Scott. it was exactly what i expected from two indie darlings (joseph gordon-levitt and zooey deschanel) in an offbeat rom-com. a little laughing out loud, plenty of awkward moments, some heartache and disappointment, a few cute theatrical moments, and a pretty nice coffee house soundtrack. i probably won't be buying this one for my own personal DVD collection but it was enjoyable nonetheless. i'm a big fan of zooey deschanel and i think she's managed to coast under the radar for the most part due in part to her preference to indie films (although she's been in blockbusters like almost famous, failure to launch, and elf). i think she's a pretty great actress who could win the hearts of most anyone with the right script. she tends to play whimsical characters that are generally quirky and unconventional. i'd actually like to see her break free from this more and try out some other roles that have different voices and personalities. i think she's capable of angelina jolie-intense mental illness or meryl streep- powerhouse ice queen.

in other news... we had our first club soccer game of the season yesterday at mary washington and we won 6-0. soccer has been kicking my ass these past few weeks with an exceptional calibur of players, more than competent coaching staff, and brutal workouts. i was shocked to be starting and as a midfielder. i haven't played midfield since middle school/maybe freshman year of high school. my high school years on travel & varsity i was chiefly a forward and more specifically, left forward because i had a stronger left foot than most and i was a finisher. however, 4 years of college(and no soccer) and 15 lbs heavier.... it's harder to bring back the A game i once knew. but i even managed to get in an assist to a beautiful corner goal by teal. i have great fun playing soccer and even though my body is begging for mercy at the end of every practice and game, i feel better and healthier for showing up and soldiering through the strenuous activity.

tonight the Emmy's come on @8pm eastern on CBS. you can be sure grace and i will be tuning in. expect a post tomorrow centered specifically around the awards.